More or less, it was four years ago when in May, I started my therapy with Seropram.
It was an unforgettable period because before this substance makes you feel invincible, it makes you go for a warm-up lap in hell. The classic symptoms of an anxious person are multiplied by 100 times so that I lost all clarity of mind about what I was experiencing. I couldn’t identify if my discomfort were due to something inside me of if it was due to some side effect of the drug.
Days went by, and my mood was alternating short bursts of good air and moments of excruciating sadness. In the worst periods, I resorted to Xanax, but I hated doing so because it made me feel sick, so I tried to resist until I burst into tears. Crying became a relief, a joyous moment.
Unfortunately, I don’t remember the timing (I say “unfortunately” because today it would be advantageous, however I forced my mind to forget those horrible days). I think after one month, Seropam started to influence my mood positively. I remember that the most significant fact was that I could wake up ad feel relaxed. From that moment on, everything started to go well; with baby steps, I started rehabilitation to the world, I started eating again, I was emaciated.
My first steps outside my house were to go fishing with my best buddy; it would be more appropriate to call him brother: I will always be grateful to him for his company and his support.
I have always been fascinated by watercourses and the surrounding landscapes: the woods, their silence, the summer coolness made me feel safe.
We bought an inflatable raft to reach the most hidden bays of the lake. How good I felt there, only God knows. Yet, if I think about it, it was much more dangerous to be there, in the middle of nothing, than in a city square, where I was frightened. Mind tricks.
